Let the Cozy Reading Commence: December is Among Us

It's here. It's time. 🎄 

cozy december vibes

2022 has been one of the hardest years of my adult life (and that's saying a WHOLE LOT), and I am ready to go into the month of December with clarity and a clear vision for how I want the year to end.

Complete within this vision is what I want my reading to look like as I reflect back on the books that have shaped + changed me, the DNFs that have pissed me off and were a waste of time, and my reflections on leaving BookTube, Bookstagram and my old blog in favor of this more simple (and free) set up that you're reading me on now.

Starting tomorrow (December 1), I will be posting once a day until the new year and sharing my reflections. Please come back with a cup of hot coffee and settle in as we reflect back on our year of living and reading great books in 2022. 

A few things I'll be exploring throughout December 

1. Most impactful reading experience
2. Bookhaul culture
3. Leaving BookTube 
4. The new Kindle Paperwhite
5. Most emotional read
6. Favorite coffee
7. How I make my daily coffee
8. Authors to keep an eye on
9. Exploring my physical bookshelf
10. Designing a TBR to expand your consciousness
11. Morning + evening reading routines
12. Screens vs Pages
13. And so so so much more...

I am aware that I have a low readership and I don't do anything to promote my book blog, but for the few steady readers who do come here, I hope that you will find some entertainment mixed with food for thought as this year slowly comes to a close.

Happy reading and I hope to see you here tomorrow. 

I Remain in Darkness by Annie Ernaux: A Review

 

Annie Ernaux:
WINNER OF THE 2022 NOBEL PRIZE IN LITERATURE

My thoughts on I Remain in Darkness

I am going to struggle with review, but honestly I am just trying to convince people to pick this one up.

This is such an emotional memoir of someone watching their mom slowly dying. It's painful. It's raw. It's real.

It reminded me of Proust in the sense that it almost compels you to focus on how you remember things. 

Ernaux shares these snapshots in the daily life of her mom as her mothers suffers and slowly approaches death. She expresses her frustrations, her sadness, her deepest feelings about her mother and their relationship.  

I read this memoir at a time when I am the sole caregiver for my mother who is battling advanced cancer. It was brutal. 

This short book took me hours upon hours to read. I bawled crying through 85%  of it. 

These seeming simple observations were a poignant look at the many emotions that we can face as we stare mortality in the eyes. 

We go on the journey of a hurt daughter caring for her increasingly dependent mother and what that does to someone psychologically.

After her other dies, the grief is palpable on the page. It is honestly so hard to read. It broke my heart open.

If you are in a safe enough place to read this emotionally, I highly suggest you pick this book up. 

Why This World: A Review (Hint- DNF)

My Review: short + sweet

I honestly hated DNFing this book (because of wanting To know about Clarice's life), but I suddenly realized why it was over 700 pages.

It went pretty quickly from a biography about Clarice's family and early life (which was honestly fascinating) into a critique of her work and his opinions about it. I felt myself falling out of the biography and into a literary critique - which was NO fun for me.

I wish that Moser spent more time on Clarice's life, but I found myself losing the feelings of what I love about Lispector and watching a married, well off woman... and it felt strange. I realized that a biography should help me to understand an author I love, not draw me away from them. I knew then it was time to DNF.

I can see what Moser was doing and how those that have read ALL of her works and agree with his analysis would love this biography.

My advice is to stick with Lispector's works. Realize that by translating her works out of Portuguese, you may miss something she intended, and be okay with that.

Books to End 2022: December Reading Plans

my morning practice

I don't use really strict TBRs. I eschew that kind of tightly bound structure in my reading. After all, I'm not in the field of literature, neither am I gunning for the arbitrary title of "most well read" amongst any set of people.

I say it over and over and I'll say it again... I read to be transformed. To be entertained. And to be made anew. 

I reread because revisiting the books that helped me through hard time (hell The Street by Ann Petry) or shaped my empathy for those who cheat (hello Anna Karenina) feel like a warm hug and a freshly hot organic cup of coffee. In essence, it feels delightful.

As 2022 comes to a close, I have so much to reflect on. Not just in my reading, but in my life. This has been one of the hardest years (and if you knew my life's story that statement alone would make you pause).

I deleted Storygraph AND Goodreads initially and lost track of my books. I deleted my spreadsheet and lost track of ALL my books. I've since recreated a spreadsheet and rejoined Goodreads with a fresh and brand new account.

I've assessed my reading and realized with going back to school (NOT for Literature), I won't have nearly as much time for bookish musings, so I will have to choose very, very carefully come next year.

This last month of year will find me indulging in some Kindle Unlimited novels and I am planning to end the year with a reading of Clarice Lispector's The Hour of the Star. I am most excited for this one.

I'm carrying a few over + adding some other entertainment

I Remain in Darkness by Annie Ernaux

The Debut by Anita Brookner

So excited for this one

Black love = sign me up

This cover is stunning

Long biography carry over of my fav

My first Trollope

The Half Life of Valery K

What I'm most excited about for my reading in December

1. To wrap up and move away from Kindle Unlimited reads so that I can focus on my owned books
2. To finish the year with a new to me classic author (Trollope)
3. The few novellas which are great for anxious days
4. Early dark nights ripe for hot decaf and a charged kindle
5. Ending the year with another Anita Brookner novel
6. Balancing what I anticipate to be transformative literature with entertaining reads

It's at this time of year that lots of creators make vlogmas or blogmas. I believe that I will participate in blogmas in an independent sort of way. I have a few things I'd like to write about and novels I'd like to show, and blogmas is a great way to do so. 

This bookish site is meant to be a catalog of my reading life and experience with novels so that I can come back and look at how I felt about what I read. I have a low readership and I appreciate every person who comes by this site. 

I hope that as you design your reads for the end of the year, you focus on what YOU truly want to read and before you participate in all the many readathons set forth by the bookish community, that you check in with yourself and progress along your own personal reading journey. It's all about letting novels (no matter the genre) to change you.

Happy book choosing my deep reading friends. 

How Having a Reading Template Keeps My Reading Authentically Mine

I do get asked often how I choose what I read. The truth is that life is short (memento mori) and I have a job that using a lot of academic literature and reading- NOT for literature in any way.

This means that when I pick up a book to read, it has to be something that I feel is worth my time, or something that I feel is going to truly entertain me in some way- and I give equal measure to both approaches.

In our world of social media likes, follows, and comments, there seems to be a "checking in" with ourselves that's missing. Maybe it was always missing and the invention and explosion of social media connections have just exposed what was already there.

There is extreme value in knowing what you enjoy. What do you truly like to read?

When I ask people this question, they often clam up for a second. There's a flash of confusion. They're at a loss for words. It could be because we don't often get asked what we like or how we feel about anything, but either way it opens the door for very interesting conversation.

If no one could see what you read EVER (which is actually possible), what would you read and why?

This is such a great question. Before Goodreads, before Storygraph, before Bookstagram and BookTube, what did you read? Therein lies a part of your answer.

Back when I had a BookTube channel, the algorithm (for good reason) mixed me in with the adult literary book community. Within that sect, you didn't find a lot of genre fiction reading or discussion- which makes sense. 

When you go over to let's say Romance BookTube, you don't see much (or any) discussion of classics or literary fiction.

At first glance a reader will say, "That's because people like what they like". And to some extent I'm sure that's true, but what I've observed is that oftentimes people get boxed in. They get boxed in by the algorithm, viewers who only come to their channel for certain content, and over time you'll find they don't feel they have room for "other" types of books.

How do I know this? Creators have discussed it. I certainly discussed it with other creators when I was making BookTube videos. 

So, how does this relate to a reading template? :) Well, I'm glad that you asked. 

I like to keep my reading a bit well rounded. I like to do a few things...I like to

1. Make sure I'm reading more female authors than male (just a preference)
2. Not only reading for entertainment for too long because then I burn out on lighter reads and can't enjoy them for a long time
3. Try new styles of fiction, new authors, writers from different countries that I haven't read much from before
4. Mix audio + text combos, with audio drama retelling, ebooks at the same time
5. Read books I own before running to buy / download something else
6. Always have something nonfiction going in the background

For some these things won't matter and that's great. For me, I like to do a really deep look at what I've read every quarter and adjust based on my mood. 

My Reading Template (I include one or more from each of these)

1. A classic
2. A literary fiction
3. A light fiction 
4. Something experimental for me
5. A Nonfiction

My mood will determine what kind of classic I choose (right now Anthony Trollope), what kind of literary fiction I choose (right now Clarice Lispector the sorceress), what light fiction I choose for entertainment (right now romantic suspense), and what kind of "experimental reading" I choose (right now Sharon Sala- very light paranormal fiction).

I never want to feel boxed in. I will at the very least try something different from what I've been reading. It helps me to expand. To grow. To change. 

Here's some advice that I recently gave to a bookish friend... stop watching what other people read and just pick up your books. Read. Do "try a chapter". DNF easily. Just READ more than you watch other people talk about reading and you will strengthen your personal choice reading muscle. Slowly, the voice in your head that tells you that certain kinds of books are good, better, best will fade away. 

Don't box yourself in. Be whatever type of reader you want to be. Reading should always be about helping to shift and change you as a human being. Perhaps you're in a phase of your life that needs some levity. Pick up those entertaining reads and lose yourself. Maybe you want to be anchored down to principle. Pick up a classic you've always wanted to sink your teeth into and get lost.

It's almost time to start thinking about a new year. There's no time like the present to reshape yourself. Good literature can help you to do that.

Happy reading my deep thinking friends. 

National Book Awards Finalists and Winner

73rd National Book Awards Finalists

I'm not a big "follow the book prize rainbow" kind of reader, but this list had me interested for sure. 

Find information about the list here at the prize's website. 

Also, this article from LitHub left me feeling a bit cringe, but read at your own risk.

By. now, you've seen that The Rabbit Hutch is the 2022 winner.

2022 National Book Award Fiction Winner

I have added this one to my TBR and will see if I get to it in the beginning of 2023 possibly.

Happy reading. 

I Have Finished In Search of Lost Time... Now What?

It will take me even MORE time to formulate my opinions on In Search of Lost Time. 

I finished the novel two weeks ago, and have yet to wrap it up. How do I even do that?

For now, I can say that I am forever changed and ALL the hype about the work and the experience of reading it are true. So true. However, you must be at a point in life (regardless of age) to appreciate it.

I will work this weekend to wrap it up and discuss all of my thoughts on the 10.5 months I spent immersed in Proust's world.

Until I report back, happy reading

Adding a Non Fiction Tome After Getting Back from Broadway

I've been wanting to read Hamilton by Ron Chernow for ages now. This 2004 release has been on my mind since I first saw Hamilton the musical on Disney Plus. I quickly became obsessed and watched it a million times.

Update: DNF. Chernow is a great writer,
but I'm ill in the mood to read
about slavery as economic trade.
I DO NOT CARE
about the "times".

For my mom's birthday, I took her and my daughter to Broadway to watch it live and now I can't stop thinking about it! I met someone at the theater who helped me to realize that I really need to read this book!

I barely got sleep last night, and after making it home from the hospital today, I downloaded the ebook AND the audiobook from my library. At 818 pages (and 1.0x speed), I am going to take my time with this one and make a goal to finish it before the end of the year if possible, if not, no worries.

I am currently also reading a biography about Clarice Lispector and taking my time with it. I love her so much and I don't mind lingering over the story of her life. 

I love having nonfiction stories in the background of my reading. 

They are so grounding and as a someone who studied psychology for years and years, I am fascinated by what and why people do the things they do. To study and learn the ways that people lived their lives will always astound me.

This is what happens when we live our lives out in the real world.

Literature always mixing with it. We don't do it to impress anyone. We don't do it in order to garner any "followers" or "friends" online, but rather because we HAVE to. (Double negative coming)... we can't NOT do it. We MUST mix these worlds, lives, stories, and characters together.

I love my kindle. I absolutely love having all my books with me at one time. I'll travel with one of my paperwhites and enjoy pulling it out everywhere from standing in line, to hopsital waiting rooms. 

Sure I can't connect with a fellow reader who can see the cover of my book, but I CAN go between 600 and 800 page tomes with the turn of a finger. It's pure magic.

Happy times connecting life + literature my slow living friends. 

Should I Read Clarice Lispector on a Long Train Ride?

Perhaps this isn't a question worth pondering to some, but if you've been swept under the "witchcraft" that is Lispector's writing, then you'll respect why I ask myself the question.

I've been holding onto The Hour of the Star by Clarice and I have a long train ride into the city today. 

The Hour of the Star 100th Anniversary Edition

I want to go deeply into the experience that only Clarice Lispector can create, but I'm afraid that when I emerge from the bowels of the earth and step into New York City, I'll feel spaced out and melancholic. 

As I think about it, perhaps it's best if I save this reading for Monday afternoon when I can sink into it, and at the close of the book just lay down in bed and ponder all that I know she will conjure up from the farthest recesses of my mind.

She did say, "I write as if to save somebody's life. Probably my own life." This is a woman who poured her soul onto the page. To pretend that I can enjoy her work as I would a romance novel was foolish thinking on my part. I know better than this.

Well, thanks for listening. That answers the question of whether or not I should read The Hour of the Star on a train ride into New York City... and the answer is no. 

Save her for when you can savor her is the advice I give to myself and to you dear readers.

Happy intense and deep reading.

The Christmas Hirelings by Mary Elizabeth Braddon: A Review

What a lovely lovely story!

Mary Elizabeth Braddon is one of those forgotten authors in my opinion. She wrote about 80 novels, with her most famous being Lady Audley's Secret. 

Her writing is smooth, emotional, and her characters are fully fleshed. Real. Authentic. 

This 1893 short Christmas story was full of heart and will call to mind a Dickensian (though I dislike Dickens) image of a heartless and wealthy man at Christmas time.

In this story...

We see Sir John of Penylon Castle - a stoic, unemotional man who is a widower and estranged from his only surviving child, live without any Christmas cheer. A friend of his Mr. Danby decides to "hire" some children to bring cheer to the castle for the holiday season. The "hirelings" come and change everything. I won't spoil anything, but trust me... this is a wonderful story.

Make no mistake, this story goes much more deeply into the heart and soul of family separation, forgiveness, love, and second chances.

I have SO many Mary Elizabeth Braddon stories on my TBR, and reading this short story reminds me of why I love her writing and her storytelling.

If you are looking for a tale to bring you into the Christmas spirit, but one that has depth and compassion, pick this one up and help me reignite the Mary Elizabeth Braddon movement. (I just made that movement up).

Happy holiday 🎄 reading my slow living friends. 

Rainy Day Start To The Weekend Reads

The last audible listen before my subscription cancels

I fancy myself an eclectic reader. This can be summarized into "I read anything I want to, whenever I want to"- unless it relates to academics or work. 

I get asked all the time how I read classics AND romance... how I can possibly combine my love of the great works of literature with romance novels (and now) cozy mysteries. My answer: we are multifaceted as humans.

DON'T force yourself to be ONE kind of reader or ONE kind of anything.

With that statement out of the way, I am celebrating finishing the entirety of In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust (review forthcoming), and am settling into the rest of this busy year with books that make me smile- alongside my beloved classic literature.

I debated whether or not to do a reread before the year ends, but I'm in the mood for new characters and experiences.

This weekend is my mom's birthday and a big trip (will tell you about it next week) and it will involve some nice train time to read something great. So, I'm making time to organize my books (made a new spreadsheet) and am also deciding what I will do with my reading time for Friday and Saturday nights.

This weekend I am aiming to continue or start

See? Eclectic :) 

Stroke of Winter by Wendy Webb was one of the Amazon Prime First Reads. I don't normally download any of them, but decided to give this one a try. This will be my train read. That may be a bad idea when I'm on the train at midnight, but it should be a good experience either way.

Wishing you a peaceful start to the weekend my slow reading friends. 

I Tried Audible Plus for Classic Literature Text + Audio Combos

I'm not a big audiobook listener. I like to create my own world. The voices that I imagine for the characters; however, in the past year or so I picked up some audiobooks of novels I know very well (Pride and Prejudice and Anna Karenina) in an attempt to keep me company as I sat bedside with my loved one who is battling cancer and I am the sole caregiver.

What started out as an experiment to keep me entertained and to slow my brain from going into dark and dangerously sad places, quickly morphed into a beloved past time.

I learned to SIT with the audiobook playing WHILE reading a great work of literature.

Up next, was an audiobook for Wuthering Heights. Oh my! I was so delighted to see that I really enjoyed this process.

Things I've noted:

1. It takes longer to read the book this way. If I leave off the accompanying audio, I could finish the book SO much more quickly, but who cares about reading books quickly.
2. All audiobooks are NOT created equally. I have to use the samples of audiobooks. Some authors have voices that grate on my ever loving nerves, and others swing me into a melodic sleep. It's all subjective, but I'm highly sensitive to sound, so it takes a while for me to find someone who agrees with my taste.
3. Speeding up the audiobook too much takes away from the joy of it and makes reading feel like a race. Ignore the 2.5x crowd, and forge your own slow reading way. Savor the work. Pause and reread a section with your eyes or rewind by 30 seconds and re-listen.

Audible Plus With No Credits

I don't get credits from Audible. I just get on the waiting list at my local library. I don't care for much of what is released in literary fiction, so I just use my library. 

I read light novels from kindle unlimited or kindle and it's easy for me to just breeze through those novels. I don't use any audio. There are a few exceptions to this. Audible has (included in the plus catalog) a few cozy mysteries and romances. I don't read along with those because I would need to speed it up greatly and I hate that chipmunk sound- and at that point it's no fun.

All in all, I am a new audiobook convert. While I still don't seek out the audible catalog for every book or classic I read, I have found great joy in making a hot pot of tea at night (all coffee by daytime!) and listening + reading at the same time.

A few novels I've enjoyed as audio + text combinations

I will continue to experiment with audiobook combinations with text alongside, and possibly some of my lighter reads on audiobook from the library to accompany me while cleaning or baking. I will use my library for them rather than paying to "rent" them from Amazon. There is definite appeal in not having a "deadline" for the book, but it isn't worth the monthly fee IMHO.

 I'll report back.

Happy slow listening

Books I Want to REREAD in 2023: The Year of the Reading Slow Down (Even More)

I live by the adage (that I honestly believe I made up) "If it isn't worth reading twice, it isn't worth reading once". This is of course not always true, but it is for me 80+% of the time.

2023 will mandate that I slow down even more. Each year I aim to read less books per year. This is the antithesis of the bookish culture's need for more books, more hauls, and higher page counts, but I am seeking the sublime here. I want to stand in awe of what I read 80% of the time.

I've added lighter reads to balance out the stress in my life and I find immense value in that. 

I am however a HUGE proponent of the Rereading Movement. I capitalized the words, but I have no idea if that is a true movement or if I am starting one with this post :)

In the vain of having "comforting reads", I am going back to authors and works who have delighted and fascinated me before. There are some comfort reads that are so sacred to me that I return to them again and again and again- yet they don't lose their hold on my heart.

Here are my rereads for the next 12 months (2023 focused)

Classics I want to read in 2023 can be found here.

Tess of the D'urbervilles by my favorite
Mr. Thomas Hardy

Swann's Way by Marcel Proust
 Volume I of In Search of Lost Time

Anna Karenina by Count Leo Tolstoy
I reread this novel every single year

Emma by Jane Austen
It's time for an Emma reread

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë
Love the Brontës. Adore Anne

I highly encourage you if you don't reread, to give it a shot. Pick a favorite of yours and revisit the world of those characters.

If you're afraid it won't hold up, that's okay. Put your book to the test. It will either reaffirm it as one of your favorites, or clear the space for you to put something better in it's place.

Happy slow and deep reading. 

New Animal : DNF at 53%

Describing your book as "darkly comedic" isn't the same as issuing content warning. Okay? Glad we cleared that up.

Firstly, this writing is gorgeous. I was "in the grief" with Amelia. To a certain degree I felt that everything that happened was understandably complex. Amelia's sexual desires. Her pain. Her seeking "comfort".

Secondly, this dubcon is NOT what I was expecting. Wasn't warned. Didn't appreciate it.

It was graphic. It was brutal. It was painful to read.

I understand (or think I can) where Baxter is going at this point in the novel. Amelia is hurting, searching, reaching for something... anything to feel again. Feel something other than the pain of losing her mom. 

Even if BDSM is what would heal her, THAT introduction into it was forcefully unnecessary and I HATE shock introduced in books to move it along.

I DNFed at page 91/170. I'm so disappointed and physically feel a bit sick to my stomach. We could have gotten our point across Baxter without this seeming trauma to your reader. 🙄  I'm out.

In the Morning There is Coffee and There Are Books

everyday brewing

I'm quite a ritualistic person. I have Type A tendencies and I admire a good schedule and stack of post its.

It should serve as no surprise that I find immense pleasure in an early morning cup of coffee (aeropress with a 9-10 minute steep time) and a few chapters in a good book.

Define good book you say? A good book is any book that I can feel is reshaping me... affirming my beliefs about the human condition and any work of literature that demands my whole self.

Lately, that's been represented in the works of Marcel Proust and in rereads of Austen's works- along with a few nonfiction books.

My point is that, some people spend so much time figuring out WHAT to read, and WHY to read it, that no one figures out WHEN to read it. It's why I think vlogs are so popular. They show people actually reading.

homemade vegan gluten free maple donuts

So, here's a tip. Wake a bit earlier. Make a hot cup of organic coffee. Pick up that work that you've always wanted to (check out my favorites if you need a good place to start), and read a chapter or two. 

In the morning your brain is fresh and primed for learning. Take advantage of that.

Happy reading my slow living friends.

The Fury that Proust Provokes: The Fugitive: Volume VI of In Search of Lost Time

I don't even know what to say at this point.

This isn't a book review as much as it is an emotional check in

The more I read of this novel, the better I understand every little strand and string and realize that it's quite genius what Proust has done.

The absolute fury that is running through me right now though is another story.

THIS guy...THIS friggin guy... and we end volume VI with Gilberte's admission? Like... what? (You had to be there and I'd rather drink a cup of cut glass than spoil a novel for you, so you gotta read it to get it).

Walks to remember. Inspired by Proust

Proust's words wind up jumping into my memory. Reading him is a slow savoring process, and now I find myself turning the pages like a kid eating Halloween candy. Then, I go back and reread what I just made it through and it sinks in...

He is a jealous, neurotic, obsessive, manipulative self-centered asshole. Ahhh... That was cathartic.

Just when I thought there would be some pain for our narrator to experience and rightfully so... Proust does THIS to me? What? Why why oh why! And the revelations that this volume produces is better than watching Maury Povich tell someone, "You are not the father". 

Anyone who convinces you there is no drama to be found in the classics hasn't read Hardy or Proust or Austen.

I am so beyond excited to be moving on to Time Regained. I won't regain any of my time this year that I spent reading this work, and I'm glad that it took as long as it did.

I will let the pain and anguish from the twist in The Fugitive settle into me, and go straight into the next volume. I know that I'm baking myself a pie to celebrate finishing this novel.

Onwards and upwards my slow reading friends. 

November Reading Plans

I am working on continuing to slow down my life. I adhere to a proponent of slow living and I don't read with any yearly goal in mind anymore. My life is very stressful right now, and I've added back in some romance novels and cozy mysteries to the mix it all up. 

This month is all about working deeply on Proust and reading other entertaining novels.

1. The Fugitive Volume VI by Marcel Proust
2. Time Regained Volume VII by Marcel Proust
3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (thousandth reread)
4. The Hour of the Star by Clarice Lispector
5. The Debut by Anita Brookner
6. New Animal by Ella Baxter
7. Continue with Short Stories 
8. Holiday Cozy Mysteries 
9. Start Holiday Romance/Women's Fiction Novels

Those are my only definite reads, I will be working on other things possibly, but in the meantime I have a new host of novels to choose from.

Wishing you a slow and deep reading November this year.