A Memoir Speaking Deeply Into My Heart

 

Beyond triggered, but in love so far with this memoir.

I am the mom of a beautiful daughter with disabilities... this memoir is beautiful. 

Emily Brontë Poetry: Am I The Only Being Whose Doom

Am I The Only Being Whose Doom

I am the only being whose doom

No tongue would ask, no eye would mourn;

I never caused a thought of gloom,

A smile of joy, since I was born.

In secret pleasure, secret tears,

This changeful life has slipped away,

As friendless after eighteen years,

As lone as on my natal day.

There have been times I cannot hide,

There have been times when this was drear,

When my sad soul forgot its pride

And longed for one to love me here.

But those were in the early glow

Of feelings since subdued by care;

And they have died so long ago,

I hardly now believe they were.

First melted off the hope of youth,

Then fancy’s rainbow fast withdrew;

And then experience told me truth

In mortal bosoms never grew.

’Twas grief enough to think mankind

All hollow, servile, insincere;

But worse to trust to my own mind

And find the same corruption there.

by Emily Brontë

I Woke Up and Deleted 25 Books From My Kindle

Nothing precipitated this mass digital cleansing.

I read mainly on kindle therefore cleaning it out often is a normal part of my reading life.

I fell trap to the "stuff your kindle day" hyped up BS in one of my "FOMO" type reading weeks.

Well this morning the last cup of coffee was hot, and I was sick of scrolling past tons of silly looking titles that were clogging up my reading interface.

I feel lighter.

I don't do "unhaul" posts and never did so I won't share any of the titles, but let me say that as a result of deleting those titles, I added 4 more to my currently reading folder on my kindle!

It's like I suddenly could see and focus on them and BAM-- I felt so inspired to add them and read a paragraph or two.

There are so many more that I want to permanently delete, and I can see a late night of book deletions in my very near future!!!

Off to scroll through more titles. Happy reading. 

Emily: The Biographical Film about Emily Brontë

absolutely amazing

I am a huge fan of the Brontës and of Emily particularly.

There is something about her reclusive nature, and her insulated existence that is so appealing. Inspiring. Motivating.

This film was deeply moving, and cinematically beautiful. 

During my viewing of the film, I redownloaded my copy of Claire Harman's Charlotte Brontë a Fiery Heart that I purchased and read the DAY it came out in 2016, and The Brontës: A Life in Letters by Juliet Barker.
 

If you are a fan of the Brontës, you must watch this film. Make sure to settle down with a cup of tea and a journal first. 

DNFing Like It's My Full Time Job

I've said it before, I'll say it again... I will DNF any book at any point.

I do not worry myself with those who tell me that DNFing is the coward's way out of reading. There's an entire camp of people ( and bless your hearts ) who feel that you must finish an author's work and that you miss out when you don't complete the entire work. That perhaps the reason you quit the book can be rectified by it's completion.

I hear you. I see you. I disagree with you wholeheartedly.

If a characters is as flat as paper by the end of chapter one, I doubt they'll stand up by chapter 30. Even if so, I am not willing to waste my precious reading time hoping and wishing they will.

I used my highly prized hoopla credits on a slew of audiobooks that I DNFed one after another...

1. Boring 2. Boring 3. Boring.... I was bored, bored, bored and just did not care at all.

I've been having trouble sleeping again, hello insomnia my old nemesis... and I take to scrolling my fully loaded kindle at night. 

I've added Nabokov's Letters to Véra on my already stacked currently reading. 

Geez oh geez I continue to struggle so badly with contemporary literary fiction these days.. I'll keep poking my head up to see if anything changes, but in the meantime you''ll find me hunkered down mainly with my beloved classics. 

Using My Hoopla Credits for Audiobooks

I struggle with listening to audiobooks, but have been trying to use my few monthly hoopla credits on trying out audio.

I can't manage to go above 1.10x speed. Anytime more and I feel like I am pulled immediately out of the story.

Also, nonfiction on audio works far better than fiction for me. Here are a few titles I've decided to try in the coming weeks.

November Autumn Reading Plans

This is the time of year I am the busiest and the sun rarely makes an appearance on the east coast for weeks at a time. sigh.

I usually start to re-read and begin to think about books that I planned to read at the beginning of the year.  I have a few classics that I would like to focus on, but in truth I may wind up rereading for comfort and the nights get longer.

I have been struggling with my daily tasks related to my full-time obligations, and when the nighttime rolls around, I only want to be comforted with entertainment. I'm fully burned out, and I can struggle with keeping only one book going at a time.

This means, I have a currently reading folder on my kindle that has about 9-15 books in it at a time and I can just bounce around between the books as my attention wanes. 

I can't blame social media for my attention shortage (unless you include YouTube) because it really relates to my burnout and inability to relax and focus. 

The books I've chosen satisfy me for each category my brain is looking to sink into. I only need to add a reread (most like Jane Eyre for the 2nd time this year) and a romance or cozy mystery for levity. 

Here's most of my start to the month:

Classics I Want to Read by the End of 2023

one of the best lattes I've ever had made with macadamia nut milk

{This is an update to a post I made back in the fall of 2022}

I don't wait until January to make any of my goals- reading, life or otherwise.

I have been playing around in my physical book journal with titles and authors that I love and have wanted to read more of. Now I've landed on a dozen or so novels that I feel I MUST get to within the next year of my life.

While reading Proust, I am reminded of how powerful it is to remember one's life. For me, this means to sort out my reading life. I remember my life by what literature I was reading at specific times on my journey.

My life is rife with stressful circumstances- I am a full-time caregiver this year for a loved one battling cancer, as well as a mom to a child with special needs. "Escaping" into literature is a must for my mental health. 

I see "escape" as a deep diving into great works. 

I am on a mission to read less, but more deeply. This is helped by my being very selective in which BookTube channels I watch, avoiding Bookstagram (not sure if I'll ever go back), and reading quality bookish blogs that help to inspire my love of literature.

updated december 3. 23

Classics left to read in 2023 

1. Another Country by. James Baldwin - currently reading December 2023
2. Notes from the Underground by Dostoevsky - currently reading December 2023

Classics I've read so far in 2023

1. Barchester Towers by Anthony Trollope ✔️ 
2. The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky ✔️
3. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert ✔️
4. Ruth by Elizabeth Gaskell ✔️
5. Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol ✔️
6. A Room With a View by E.M. Forster ✔️
7. Persuasion by Jane Austen ✔️
8. East Lynne by Mrs. Henry Wood ✔️
9. Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov ✔️
10. Mistress and Maid by Dinah Mullock Craik ✔️
11. First Love by IvanTurgenev ✔️

Classics I'm moving to 2024 and beyond

1. Aurora Floyd by Mary Elizabeth Braddon 
2. Deerbrook by Harriet Martineau 
3. The Story of Ivy by Marie Belloc Lowndes