library acquisition: beware of pity by stefan zweig

It goes without saying that our libraries are vitally essential to our communities and existence- so I'll save that speech, and lament that my library only gives me SIX checkouts per month! 

I use one of them for access to Hallmark channel app, and I ration the others like wartime sugar. This month I did checkout Beware of Pity by Stefan Zweig. This book came across my radar while I was browsing the New York Review of Books website. It is out of stock there, so I searched my library (my first stop).  I will just add this to my currently reading pile!

Book Synopsis:

"Stefan Zweig's brilliant novel, Beware of Pity, is an original and powerful work."-The New York Times

The great Austrian writer Stefan Zweig was a master anatomist of the deceitful heart, and Beware of Pity, the only novel he published during his lifetime, uncovers the seed of selfishness within even the finest of feelings. Beware of Pity is an almost unbearably tense and powerful tale of unrequited love and the danger of pity.

In 1913, Hofmiller, an Austro-Hungarian cavalry officer stationed at the edge of the empire, is invited to a party at the home of a rich local landowner, a world away from the dreary routine of the barracks. The surroundings are glamorous, wine flows freely, and the exhilarated young Hofmiller asks his host's lovely daughter for a dance, only to discover that sickness has left her painfully crippled. It is a minor blunder that will destroy his life, as pity and guilt gradually implicate him in a well-meaning but tragically wrongheaded plot to restore the unhappy invalid to health.

Stefan Zweig's only novel is a devastating depiction of the torment of the betrayal of both honour and love, realized against the background of the disintegration of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

source: speech repository

Stefan Zweig

This author had a much too short life and literary career, but I am fascinated by this novel's premise and this author's life and work. Read about him here. 

poetry pause: the quiet life:: alexander pope

 

stock photo

The Quiet Life

Happy the man, whose wish and

care

A few paternal acres bound,

Content to breathe his native air 

In his own ground.

Whose herds with milk, whose fields with

bread,

Whose flocks supply him with attire;

Whose trees in summer yield him 

shade,

   In winter, fire.

Blest, who can unconcern'dly find

Hours, days, and years, slide soft

away

In health of body, peace of mind,

Quiet by day.

Sound sleep by night; study and ease

Together mix'd; sweet recreation,

And innocence, which most does 

please

With meditation.

Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;

Thus lamented let me die;

Steal from the world, and not a stone

Tell where I lie.

Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

a stack of books, a cup of pour over (light roast) and a changing bedtime routine with reading

what i'm reading physically

Listen, it's no secret. I love books. I love reading. I love ereaders, hardbacks, paperbacks, new books, and old books. I don't let the algorithm tell me what to do. I don't need to niche down what type of reader I am.

I don't read for show, for numbers, for profit, or to impress anyone. I don't keep up with the cool kids, nor do I have an opinion about the bookish community.

It's high time we focus on what type of readers we each individually are and reserve judgment and criticism for what other people are doing.

With that in mind, let me talk about what I have been doing at night...

Nighttime reading ritual

I stack up books and ereaders on my night table, make a hot cup of decaf coffee, and read and sift through anywhere from 6-12 titles each night. 

My anxiety has been high due to some medical family issues, so my ability to sit with one novel has been difficult, and I don't believe in shoulds and ought to, so when one title grabs my attention and heart, I let that choice carry me.

Right now I am reading and sifting through the titles above including:

- Boredom by Alberto Moravia

- Emma by Jane Austen

- An Unexpected Cowboy by Stacey Shannon (been reading this short romance for two weeks, maybe I should give up on lighter reads for now?)

- Vanishing World by Sayaka Murata

organic light roast at home

Early morning pour overs always win over my Nespresso pods. Even though I love the convenience of them, I am really missing the 15-20 minute meditative time investment in my morning routine. While the days have been slower, I have been focused on accomplishing this simple act of calming self-care.

I haven't bought a single book or ebook from Amazon since the inauguration, and the Kobo store is soooo expensive and nowhere near as user friendly, but I won't let it stop me in my pursuit of digital downloading. I have been getting on 6 month waitlist at my local library which has been exquisitely painful. 

I have my eye on a few titles, but I wait until the list reaches 3-5 until I purchase them. I have enjoyed not shopping at Amazon, it has made me more intentional with my book purchases, and honestly I am skipping past, "This video is sponsored by Skillshare, this jewelry company, this light company, this this or that that." I'm working to source my books from used online sites, and I love it.

Wishing you a wonderful, coffee-filled, book reading weekend ahead.

Happy reading ☕️ 

mid-spring cloudy weekend reading/coffee plans

 

yes i crack ever spine i own :)

I'm still loving this re-read of Les Mis. I'm taking a lot of time to annotate, tab, journal and reflect. The truth is that this is the perfect time to read Les Mis because the world is on fire, and so much that is wrong and unjust is happening to undeserving people. 

This narrative allows you to follow Jean Valjean through his story and you can't help but reflect on right, wrong, injustice, character, appearances, character. You ask, "What makes a good person?", "Who is actually deserving of hard circumstances? Is anyone?"

I've spent a few weeks away from my long hours of reading at night in lieu of watching shows with my mom (as requested by her), but I am yearning for the slow, quiet, tea filled nights that keep my sanity on a steady rhythm.

always planning

I'm a planner. A crafter. A writer. I could never have enough beautiful notebooks and agendas.

I've been working on burnout recovery. My planner (during this phase of life) is meant to make sure that I include calming, soothing activities in my day. 

a small taste of home: NOLA cold brew

Nothing like a super strong, unsweetened cold brew on a sunny day. I'm a hot coffee person through and through, but I do enjoy the occasional cold brew. 

This weekend I am designing a time to return to BookTube, reading deeply, preparing for travel and taking bubble baths.

Wishing you time to settle, live calmly, and drink coffee.

Happy reading ☕️ 

new book acquisition digitally - sayaka murata

I am a huge Sayaka Murata fan and this novel sounds like something I am really going to enjoy. 

sayaka murata

This Japanese dystopian novel promises to entrance and captivate me in a way that only Murata can do. I am not a big science fiction reader, but somehow she gives depth to her layered stories that speak to something quite deep inside.

Here is the novel's summary:

As a girl, Amane realizes with horror that her parents “copulated” in order to bring her into the world, rather than using artificial insemination, which became the norm in the mid-twentieth century. Amane strives to get away from what she considers an indoctrination in this strange “system” by her mother, but her infatuations with both anime characters and real people have a sexual force that is undeniable. As an adult in an appropriately sexless marriage—sex between married couples is now considered as taboo as incest—Amane and her husband Saku decide to go and live in a mysterious new town called Experiment City or Paradise-Eden, where all children are raised communally, and every person is considered a Mother to all children. Men are beginning to become pregnant using artificial wombs that sit outside of their bodies like balloons, and children are nameless, called only “Kodomo-chan.” Is this the new world that will purify Amane of her strangeness once and for all?

I love looking at covers on my tablet and I am being very cautious of the physical books that I am bringing into my library. If I don't think I will read it immediately, I won't buy the physical edition.

I also just decluttered 58 novels. I only want to keep physical copies of books that I will re-read and want to take a super slow time with.

I've always been a digital e-reading person, and as my life has become more stressful, just the clutter of a huge bookshelves brings on a certain anxiety.

I'll report back on what I think about this novel, but either way, I highly recommend you pick this one up or anything by this author.

Happy reading ☕️ 

leaning into memoirs (still selective) and tea and coffee on rainy days

loving this memoir so far...

 This week has started off in a rainy and contemplative way. I've been nursing copious cups of coffee and culling my BookTube feed to keep me connected to creators that aren't overly loud, and I pretty much avoid videos with lots of jump cuts. I like having a curated YouTube feed.

How to Say Babylon by Safiya Sinclair has started off very strong. I love Safiya's voice as she describes her parents origin stories. This set up is very much grounded in fact, but the emotional thread of the story is very strong. I absolutely love this. 

safiya sinclair

from safiya sinclair's website

I've been taking to making decafs in the early afternoon because I start my morning strong with espressos and reading The Letters of Gustave Flaubert (you can access them free in the public domain here) in the NYRB edition. 

"For me I can imagine nothing in the world preferable to a nice, well-heated room, with the books one loves and the leisure one wants."

"Think only of Art, of that and that alone, because that's all there is. "

these are still going... 

Wishing you a well-curated YouTube feed, lots of hot cappuccinos with oatmilk, and a peaceful end to your Wednesday.

Happy reading ☕️ 

weekend writing and

The pressure to do a ton in sunny springtime is a bit exhausting to my introverted soul. As a caregiver and a recent recluse (recovering from burnout), I find myself waiting for the day's chores/academics to be over so that I can sit with my books and journals well into the evening. 

I should work on better sleep habits right now (mid-life sleep changes are quiet interesting), but I have been finding myself desperate for quiet and the world is coming alive. Lots of neighbors having bbqs, family gatherings, etc. I yearn for quiet days.

typical morning stack

I write out my book list in this tiny hardback journal, it helps me to keep up with the titles of what I am reading. I keep a few going digitally (and it's easier to lose track), and my physical books. I don't attempt to finish them within a certain time frame, but I want to focus more on a few books so I may make a page count system for the next month or so.

Reviewing my list of novels I want to read this year I am reminded that there are a few reads and re-reads that I have planned on my list, and I am being called by Dostoevsky lately. His works just speak to a certain part of my psyche that other works don't reach as much. Victor Hugo also has the ability to do so.

I have read a lot of disability activism non-fiction this year, and aside from making me aggressively upset, I have learned so much. I have to temper this with deep fictional work otherwise I feel emotionally drained and ready to disassociate from the world. 

vegan creamer + hot coffee

I'll continue to let the hot days of springtime roll in as I settle into a rhythm with my novels and social science non-fiction. I will ignore the claw of FOMO while watching book vlogs filled with festivals, etc. I will honor this season of my life. 

If you're also wanting to sink deeply into literature and think that autumn is the only time you can, I urge you to renegotiate your relationship with spring. 

Happy reading ☕️ 

home lattes, fresh berries and dostoyevsky in spring

 It's a hard season in my life. I oscillate between re-reads of classic literature, philosophical literature and personal development neuroscience style books. This is the perfect set of reads for me.

My nighttime has been full of worry and anxiety, but I am working to make a change to my streaming habits so that I can read more at night. This is what i do when I am very stressed- I watch shows (that I don't even like) rather than read, but the class to the slow night schedule has called me back.

homemade oatmilk lattes

I've been making a few lattes each morning as I journal and read a few pages from The Letters of Gustave Flaubert. I've been reading so much slower this year and I am loving it 100%. I did a culling of my physical library. I will not buy more bookshelves or organize them in a way as to fit more titles. I only want to own books that I want to read and re-read repeatedly.

This is mainly classic literature and some scientific textbooks that I use for reference. I have a collection of beautiful hardback journals that I use one by one as well on my shelves. 

fresh strawberries in spring

Fresh fruit ushers in springtime for me. I've been enjoying the most perfect strawberries each night while reading and relaxing. 

this was life changing

Of course nothing quite pierces my consciousness like Dostoevsky. Notes from the Underground started as philosophical and quiet and turned into an exploration of loneliness, belonging, and the human condition. This is a short work, but I took my time with it. I absolutely loved it and I enjoyed this translation as well.

As I prepare for a calming weekend I am reflecting on how lovely it has been to keep zero count on the books I am reading and just allowing myself to sink down into what I am reading. I've also taken to having classics or cozy mysteries on audio to keep me company as I am caregiving and taking care of things around my house. It is so entertaining honestly. I can only put on re-reads or fun/funny books, but I am enjoying getting them from the library and having a few to choose between.

Wishing you a happy weekend filled with transformative or entertaining reads. ☕️ 

snidbits from- secret voices: a year of women's diaries edited by sarah gristwood

 

my copy in streaks of sunlight

I love reading from this collection of diaries and I love normalizing women's diary entries as literature. As an avid diary keeper and journal extraordinaire, I relish in the descriptions of typical daily thoughts and feelings and I feel like I'm connecting with these women as I read.

Truth is, I struggle with journals being made public posthumously, but this is an edited collection that I am enjoying, and I think reverencing these pages that include entries from multiple women allows for less of a voyeuristic feel and more of an exposition of how fascinating the inner lives of women have always been historically.

beautiful hardback edition

22 April

My nature is like a strong wilful ship; unless I keep it occupied it gives me endless trouble. Lately I have allowed it free play and must have a struggle with it, before I can again have peace. Can I begin this struggle bravely and instantly What is the use of drifting, unless indeed I half desire to be where the current of my own feeling will bring me? And there is the trouble. My own mind is not made up. I have been meditating over the question [a possible proposal from Joseph Chamberlain] for five months, have done little else but think about it; now I am no nearer solving it... Looking back on the whole affair, I confess to myself that my action and thought have been wanting in dignity and nicety of feeling. I have chattered about feelings which should be kept within the holy of holies. 

The only excuse has been the extraordinary nature of the man and his method and the interest which public position lends his personality. But now I can make a fresh start; force my thoughts from their dwelling-place of the last five months, and devote myself vigorously to my duties and to the nature and true development of my own nature, Amen...

                                                                                     -Beatrice Webb, 1884

a quiet fall into spring 2025

The noise in the world and in the book community has left me reflective and silent. 

It seems that people circle round and round  the exact same topics: don't count your books, read faster, read slower, read more, read less... It's inane and exhausting. I'm also a highly sensitive person so take what I say with a pinch of pink Himalayan salt. 

My point is: Do what you want. Read what you want. However much you want. As often or not as you want. 

I'm an endless re-reader and people always tell me how boring that must be... Their opinion is valid, but I don't have to listen to it, and I'd never follow it. It applies all over the book community. Focus on letting literature change you. Open you. Transform you. Forget all else. 

Here's how I've fallen into spring in a quiet and subtle way....

endlessly tabbing and journaling my multiple books

tons of commonplacing, journaling, & reflecting