weekend writing and

The pressure to do a ton in sunny springtime is a bit exhausting to my introverted soul. As a caregiver and a recent recluse (recovering from burnout), I find myself waiting for the day's chores/academics to be over so that I can sit with my books and journals well into the evening. 

I should work on better sleep habits right now (mid-life sleep changes are quiet interesting), but I have been finding myself desperate for quiet and the world is coming alive. Lots of neighbors having bbqs, family gatherings, etc. I yearn for quiet days.

typical morning stack

I write out my book list in this tiny hardback journal, it helps me to keep up with the titles of what I am reading. I keep a few going digitally (and it's easier to lose track), and my physical books. I don't attempt to finish them within a certain time frame, but I want to focus more on a few books so I may make a page count system for the next month or so.

Reviewing my list of novels I want to read this year I am reminded that there are a few reads and re-reads that I have planned on my list, and I am being called by Dostoevsky lately. His works just speak to a certain part of my psyche that other works don't reach as much. Victor Hugo also has the ability to do so.

I have read a lot of disability activism non-fiction this year, and aside from making me aggressively upset, I have learned so much. I have to temper this with deep fictional work otherwise I feel emotionally drained and ready to disassociate from the world. 

vegan creamer + hot coffee

I'll continue to let the hot days of springtime roll in as I settle into a rhythm with my novels and social science non-fiction. I will ignore the claw of FOMO while watching book vlogs filled with festivals, etc. I will honor this season of my life. 

If you're also wanting to sink deeply into literature and think that autumn is the only time you can, I urge you to renegotiate your relationship with spring. 

Happy reading ☕️ 

a quiet fall into spring 2025

The noise in the world and in the book community has left me reflective and silent. 

It seems that people circle round and round  the exact same topics: don't count your books, read faster, read slower, read more, read less... It's inane and exhausting. I'm also a highly sensitive person so take what I say with a pinch of pink Himalayan salt. 

My point is: Do what you want. Read what you want. However much you want. As often or not as you want. 

I'm an endless re-reader and people always tell me how boring that must be... Their opinion is valid, but I don't have to listen to it, and I'd never follow it. It applies all over the book community. Focus on letting literature change you. Open you. Transform you. Forget all else. 

Here's how I've fallen into spring in a quiet and subtle way....

endlessly tabbing and journaling my multiple books

tons of commonplacing, journaling, & reflecting

End of March DNF Energy

I am just DNFing up a storm. Honestly, I love a good DNF.

Too many of them and I start to feel antsy...

"Am I choosing the right books? Why am I not finishing these novels? Am I feeling slumpy?"

Turns out that most of my recent DNFs have been recommendations or gleaned from watching videos. Ummmm well that HAS to change!

Cue my deep journaling session about my reading taste.

stock photo

I use this in all areas of my life: If NO ONE was looking (and honestly no one is looking :) , what would I be reading or wanting to read?

The facts are:

My stakes are low. 

My reading is JUST for my enjoyment and enhancement.

My time is limited so I need to choose my books wisely. 

Henceforth (clearly things have gotten serious now), I will be documenting my DNF escapades and reveling in the joy I feel when I delete a book from my kindle or remove the download.

Exhale... what a beautiful space of reading freedom I am living in. Although I've expressed this in the most dramatic fashion possible, I feel fantastic to shout into the void, "If it isn't worth reading twice, it's not worth reading once."

My Springtime Re-Read: Emma by Jane Austen

 

2023 Classic Re-Read: Emma

I am an avid proponent of re-reading. 

I believe deeply that if a book isn't worth reading twice, it isn't worth reading once.

My time is so valuable. So precious.

When I read, I am seeking to be entertained or to touch the sublime- all else is folly.

I'm ONLY here for the 5 star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ reads. Nothing else will do.

I don't need to be a large part of the cultural conversation about currently published literature.

My degrees are NOT in literature. I do NOT care if someone else deems me "Well Read" or not. 

I've heard it all:

"Why would you waste your time reading Proust? It is so meandering and boring"

"Wow, you've read Proust! That's amazing."

"Jane Austen is so boring. I just don't get how people love the boring teacup drama. Who can even understand her anyway."

"Austen is timeless. She's the best writer I've ever read."

See where I'm going?

You have to read for yourself. YOUR own taste. What calls to YOU.

If you don't, you have a racked up list of novels that didn't excite you, and all you're left with it the fact that "people" can say you've read good stuff?  Or not, depending on to whom you're speaking.

ALL of that to say :).... Emma is my spring re-read. I'm in the mood for some nosey, messy, Austen drama followed up by a light screen adaptation. 

As with all re-reads, I know the story. There's no need to rush it. Emma will live alongside all of the other novels I have slotted for my Spring reads, and I'll most likely set a chapter goal. 

There are 3 Volumes, but if I'm honest, once I get into the novel, I will probably keep going. That's the Austen way.

She gets you into the drama and she is so darn funny, you can't look away.

Happy Springtime re-reading to you slow living friends. 🌸 

Private Book Blog and Thoughts This Week

I've decided finally to make this reading blog private in the future. I'd like my daughter (if she chooses to) and myself to have a space where I catalog what I'm reading and how I'm feeling about it.

This incessant need to turn every single thought and action into a productivity march is exhausting and I quit. I may even quit this blog. I am unsure. 

In the meantime, I've cleaned up my kindle and I am now keeping just a currently reading folder open and that has helped to organize my thoughts. My reading has slowed down tremendously and I really enjoy that. 

I've discovered Jill Mansell- who I am sure I read a million years ago, but I have a host of her books on hold at my library and I am excited beyond measure to get to them. I thought I might go out to the library later, but there is truly no need so I will stay in and read what I have in between some business.

This week and month are almost rounding down and I quite interested in the process of reading less and reading so much slower.

My current re-read of Anna Karenina is going so so so slowly and I just love it. I could honestly read this novel in a week or two, but my goal is about 3 months or a little less.

I love that.

The less BookTube I watch (or the more specific BookTubers I watch), the more my own reading tastes naturally come back.

I know the order of the world is all social internet connections, but I have to admit, it doesn't gel with me. I'm going to keep forging my own path- even if it leaves me on the edge alone.

Happy reading. 

The Benefits of Constantly Re-Reading The Same Novels

I know I know. It seems tedious, unnecessary and boring.

I assure you, it is not.

if anna were alive today...

Let me start by telling you which novels I constantly re-read:

1. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
2. Jane Eyre by Charolette Brontë
3. Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin
4. Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
5. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
6. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Now that you can see what I always re-read, can you sense a theme? 

If you didn't notice it, the theme is: GREAT moving literature. Sweeping stories of love, loss, family, duty, morality, and so much more.

There are amazing books NOT on this list that I have re-read, but I am only mentioning those that I re-read frequently and often.

I simply cannot get enough of the novels above. I just keep squeezing, and squeezing the life out of these characters. I feel like I know (were they alive in real life) what each of them would do in certain situations.

They feel wholly real and authentic to me. Endlessly affecting. 

I've been known to

Ignore contemporarily published literature that bookish friends recommend, in order to curl up with Anna Karenina for the umpteenth time.

Have audio, physical, and ebook editions of my favorite novels to pull parts from at all times.

Let library books be due back before reading them in favor of picking up a frequent re-read

What pleasure do I derive from this behavior?

I get to meet old friends on the page. I get to hang out again with Levin. I get to go back with Kitty to the party where she prays that Vronsky will FINALLY ask for her hand in marriage.

I allow myself to be transported back to the dinner table with the Bennets as Mr. Collins compliments the "excellent boiled potatoes".

I get to gasp as Bathsheba Everdene does the wildly feminist thing of turning down Gabriel Oak at first take as she proclaims that she is her own person with her own wishes and being a wife isn't at the top of that list.

A challenge:

I dare you to ignore the "recently published" shelf in favor of a comforting re-read.

I dare you to curl up with a favorite book for a quiet afternoon and I dare you not to be moved by it.

I'll be over here doing my zillionth re-read of Anna Karenina after just finishing my millionth re-read of Jane Eyre.

Sure it's a new year and new shiny titles are the shelves. I read more than one book at a time, so I'll able to read new to me books (though rarely newly published books), AND stay in the company of my beloved classics.

Happy re-reading

Physical When Proven 5 Star ⭐️

my used bookshelf

I will not buy a physical book that I won't endlessly re-read.

I will not purchase a physical book that I do not consider a 5 star ⭐️ read.

I will not purchase a physical book that is not beautiful.

As a result

My physical books shelf has ONLY books I deem to be exceptional literature that has changed my life. It only contains books that I have read and re-read or will re-read in the near future.

I put up and thumb through the titles all the times.

There are a myriad of ways to keep and read books, this is just how I do it and I love it. 

Happy book collecting. ☕️

Slow Reading Check In

 I felt the creeping in of 2020-2022 habits. 

1. Hiding between the pages of books and avoiding what needs to be done
2. Using literature to procrastinate things that need to be done
3. Watching more BookTube than I feel is helpful 
4. Browsing sales pages on Kindle

simple living with coffee

After accessing this, I took a deep breath and put on an old classic audiobook by Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy.

It can be hard to figure out who you are as a reader if you brush through your literature without deeply digesting it. This is NOT the goal for many readers, but for me it is.

It's the reason that I struggle being a member of the bookish community. 

On the one hand

Publishers have a goal. Mainly ONE goal. To SELL books. Lots of books.

To this end, they will send promo copies, make influencer boxes, bombard you on social media with "up and coming novels", etc.

I'm not saying anything is inherently wrong with this. What I am saying is that they don't have my best interest at heart. They have their own interest first and foremost. 

On the other hand

We have lots of bookish community "influencers" (I get it, but I loathe that word) who want to remain relevant. They will "sell out" in order to keep those free books and book merchandise items coming.

They 5 star review books that once they would have considered 3 stars so as to remain on the press team for certain publishers.

And worse yet, NO ONE is calling any of this out (to my knowledge) and it's seen as just how the world goes round.

What I miss

I miss the old world where book shopping was really done based off of how you felt about books and you picked something up due to sheer interest. Not because the cover is as familiar to you as your driver's license photo because you've seen it on social media so many times... you MUST pick it up. 

I miss the time when people didn't quantify their reading and compare it. 

I miss when we valued libraries and librarians more.

To that end

I've taken a step back from watching BookTube. 

Last year I went so far as to delete my channel. I do regret doing it, but haven't been able to justify to myself starting it again.

I set a yearly reading goal, but only so that I can ensure I am reading LESS, not more.

In recent years I have read 200+ books each year, and I do NOT want to do this anymore. 

I've accepted

I have accepted that I like boring books.

I have accepted that I don't really mind re-reading the same books over and over (just like I did in childhood before people asked me to keep up with new releases).

I have to stop watching other people read books in order to read the books I have on my shelves.

Reading classic literature is never a waste of my time (even when I DNF or give up on an author like the racist Dickens), but MOST prize list, hyped, new release touted BS IS a true disappointment and waste of my reading time.

In order to fully recover my attention span, I will have to continue to work my mental muscles and read with nothing but ambience rooms on. 

Accept that reading and WANTING to HAVE read a book are NOT the same thing.

Accept that this quiet book blog will never be widely read because I won't do any of the things to make it "popular". 

Accept that prize list are not for me. They just aren't. I've enjoyed maybe 3 total books from prize lists and any group of people who can put A Little Life as a short listed contender is never a list I should follow or value. 

Take aways today

In order to keep my reading life authentically mine, I have to spend time at least once a week to deeply think about the works I engaged with that week. By spending time reflecting on my reading journey, I can iron out where I am wasting time, money and attention.

This is key and this is an invaluable practice that has helped me to decided to stop posting on Bookstagram. Stop following book lists. Read in peace and quiet and continue to browse my library.

Unconventional Reading Goals for 2023

tea and books

This year comes on the tail end of a stressful and manic year for me. Even if it hadn't, I can feel forces calling me to: Do less. Own less. Read less.

I don't see anything wrong with Goodreads goals, or goals in general, but I am seeking to continue to LIVE the great books this year. I want to sandwich my busy upcoming year between the chapters of great works of literature. 

Unconventional reading goals that I have for 2023

Read fewer books on purpose

I aim to digest all of the literature that I consume. I don't keep up with prize lists reading (though nothing is wrong with that), but there can be a FOMO to the book community. SO many seeming great books being published. SO many people discussing the same book, and you feel like you're on the outside.

Well, that's okay. I'll stand out here thank you very much. I"ll watch the vlogs of others who read through the list and I'll stick to my classics with sprinkles of romance or mystery thrown in for levity.

Take bookish readathons as suggestions, NOT mandates

This is pretty clear. I never have felt forced to participate in any readathon, but I have to say now that I've left BookTube and am just a viewer, I can see how many people tailor their reading around the month of the year.

"I'll save this for Victober." "This will be the perfect read for March Mystery Madness"

It goes back to the FOMO thing. I am going to embrace the joy of missing out on it honestly. 

I'll keep a digital notepad nearby as the TBRs roll in each month dedicated to the readathons, but don't expect readathon bingo boards over here. 

Non-negotiable nightly reading time

I know this seems simple, but so many people WANT to read, but can't carve the time out to do so. I will set some nightly time (TV off, YouTube blocked) to sink into my literature. 

Avoiding social media has been great for my attention span and personal development. I enjoy the ability to settle my brain waves down into a chunk of Anna Karenina. 

Read what I own

Stop feeling like I need to purchase ANY books unless I will be reading it IMMEDIATELY. Get rid of that "let me grab it" attitude, that I picked up from watching so much BookTube. 

If I own it, read it. If I don't own it and I want it, I need to download and read straight away.

Live the novels I read

Discuss them daily. Ponder them. Attempt to get inside the character's minds. LIVE the books out. Imagine what I would do if I were the character.

Remember MY book adage: 

If it isn't worth reading twice, it isn't worth reading once. 

And with that, I start off 2023 with re-reads of my favorite classics because I am not in a race to "out read" anyone. To "keep up" with anyone or to be "relevant" in any way. 

I'm using reading great literature as a way to increase my empathy and live a better life in a stressful world. 

Happy reading my slow living friends. 

I Struggle With Audiobooks, but ADORE Audio Dramas

It's a shame that my old blog's content couldn't transfer over. I will see if I can migrate one of my most popular posts and it was on my issues consuming audiobooks.

I'm a visual learning. Audiobooks just fade into the background. I can ONLY consume the story fully when I do an audiobook + text duo - meaning listen WHILE I read along word-for-word. 

Anything else, and the story... the sentiment is lost on me. This is a bit unpopular because so many people just plow through their TBR piles with the aid of audiobooks, but I'm a dense, slow, deep reader and any time the thought of "plowing through" a novel has entered my mind, I know it's time for a forever DNF or a putting aside for another time in my life.

Literature is meant to bring me close to the sublime. The awe. The deep lived universal experiences of all of humanity. Tall order? Certainly, but nonetheless it's my most basic requirement. THEN and only then can I be "entertained" by the works.

This leads me to today's point. Audio dramas are fascinating ways to be connected to works in an auditory way without actually listening to the full story via audiobook.

• I only listen to audio dramas of works that I am very familiar with. The audio dramas are NOT abridged audiobooks. I feel you will lose the essence of the true story if this is your only introduction to the work.

• With that in mind, it's better to listen to the audio drama and become familiar with the work (even if it's your first time), rather than to never know the story if you've shied away from the full text.

• I love listening to them on 1.0 speed. The extra audio sounds in the back (wind blowing, doors slamming) are lost when you speed them up.

• I do enjoy just sitting with a coffee and listening to the story- especially by candlelight. While it can seem ancient Victorian-esque to do so, the experience is so delightful.

I've only just discovered these audio dramas and purchased a few from audible. I can't seem to find them anywhere else!

Currently, I'm listening to the BBC Radio Drama: The Brontë Collection

source: audible cover

This has been a phenomenal experience and I now have added a few other collections to my personal wishlist.

I LOVE Jane Eyre. It is one of my top 3 favorite novels of ALL time and the dramatization of it was excellent! I was truly blown away. 

I don't subscribe to audile, so I just buy them outright, but even then it's worth it to me. I will re-listen to this collection endlessly. 

I hope that if (like me) you avoid audiobooks (for any reason), you may now feel compelled to seek out a dramatization of your favorite works to accompany you on drives and while doing chores. It's changed my life. 

Happy reading my slow living friends.