Friday, May 31, 2024

snippets from letters to vera (mr. nabokov) : part II




SO different from our current time when "wyd" is meant to signify interest. {insert huge eye roll}. Vladimir writes to his wife with an obsession passion that I enjoy slowly working my way through.


Quotes from the letters to vera...

I'm so sorry I wrote nonsense to you. My brains are disheveled- their hairpins have fallen out: just as there are bare-headed people, I'm somehow bare-brained... Do you understand?"

Without you I wouldn't have moved this way, to speak the language of flowers.

I am becoming more and more firmly convinced that art is the only thing that matters in life.

See you soon, my love, don't be angry with me. I know that I am a very boring and unpleasant man, drowned in literature... But I love you.

My delightful, my love, my life, I don't understand anything: how can you not be with me? I'm so infinitely used to you that I now feel myself lost and empty: without you, my soul.

 How strange that although my life's work is moving a pen over paper, I don't know how to tell you how I love, how I desire you.

I'll have to see you forty-eight hours a day... 

 
I'm loving these letters. Part obsession. Part entertaining. All love. Gorgeous.

Other posts in this series:

Thursday, May 30, 2024

poetry pause: spotlight :: t.s. eliot : IV

stock photo of a beautiful night

IV

His soul stretched tight across the skies,
That fade behind a city block,
Or trampled by insistent feet
At four and five and six o'clock;
And short square fingers stuffing pipes,
And evening newspapers, and eyes
Assured of certain certainties,
The conscience of a blackened street
Impatient to assume the world.

I am moved by fancies that are curled
Around these images, and cling:
The notion of some infinitely gentle
Infinitely suffering thing.

Wipe your hand across your mouth, and laugh;
The worlds revolve like ancient women
Gathering fuel in vacant lots. 

-T.S. Eliot

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Lolita by Valdamir Nabokov : A Review

Place holding a post to review Lolita. This was from August 29, 2023. I have yet to be capable of writing a review. 

I literally JUST finished it. My mouth is agape. My soul is burning. My heart aches.

This is my successful 4th attempt at this novel. The first three times I never made it past the 7th page. I am so happy that I endured this time.

I am going to read Nabokov's "On a Book Entitled Lolita", and I hope that within 2 days I can come and complete this review.

annotated Lolita with Nabakov's essay at the end




Tuesday, May 28, 2024

big summer re-read: war and peace: I love tolstoy

I've written about my stressful life, and nothing helps me feel better is working through a huge mammoth tome like War and Peace.

This will be a re-read for me. I have just been having a craving for it. I pondered with several titles (Middlemarch, Moby Dick, etc.), but something is calling me to War and Peace. So, that's enough for me. 

At 1382 pages for the Penguin Edition that I owe both physically and on kindle, I'll be starting on June 1st and having a goal of 25 pages per day.


i have this physical edition & this same translation on kindle


I love sinking my teeth into sprawling classics, and taking my time to structure my reading life around a "big read". 

Leo Tolstoy is one of my favorite writers of all time. I seriously have re-read Anna Karenina (one of my top 3 favorite books) over and over again. I find so much peace inside the complicated characters and stories that Tolstoy wrote.

Like Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy creates psychologically complex characters that help you learn so much about yourself as you read them.

If you read Anna's story and connected with her desire to be unfaithful because she felt restrained- you can better know yourself and what you think about infidelity. Do you lean more towards Levin's story? In War and Peace, I am eager to get back into the Napoleonic Era and the French invasion of Russia. Nothing like a good fictional account including Bonaparte. 

I'm aways reading a biography of Napoleon which should be a good accompaniment. 


side by side, this should be a great reading experience


Plans for Reading War and Peace this summer

  1. 25 pages per day
  2. Read physically
  3. Read on kindle at night time (hello eye strain + light)
  4. Blog my weekly experience here (along with photos!)
  5. Keep notes in my physical book journal

I only read what inspires or motivates me. I don't read for number goals. I don't read to keep up with the literary Joneses. 

This is my life. My mental health. My sanity. I'm excited to dive back into this amazing novel. Feel free to join me. I'll be writing about it here.

Happy reading ☕️ 

Monday, May 27, 2024

currently reading down from 17 to 6... oh, and waffles

 

beautiful cup of organic ethiopian 

The semester is over. I'm struggling with how stressful my daily life has been, and all around anxiety. That means slowing everything down.

I canceled a trip with my family, and starting putting my pajamas on at 10:00 pm. 

The answer for me is always ... L E S S 

I finished up a few books on my currently reading, and dnfed the rest. My shelf is now clear and steady. 

I am in love with nonfiction right now. It's my second read "genre" after classic literature. 

homemade gluten free vanilla waffles + kombucha

I'm just taking my time to square away the rest of May and gear up for June. I am intent on starting the month off on a good note. 

Wishing all who feel lonely and use reading for comfort a soft ending to the month of May.

Happy reading ☕️ 

Thursday, May 16, 2024

I won't read books that bore me- not sorry about it

I just won't give a second thought to dnfing any book that bores or annoys me. I just won't do it. 

Now, listen. I don't mind enduring with a novel. Hello? I loved all 7 volumes of The Search. What I am talking about is this new wave of half-baked novels that I feel are meant to just push out works at a butter churning rate that nauseates me. 

It goes without saying (though this day it always seems to need to be said) that this is my opinion. MINE. Not everyone shall agree. Okay that's out of the way...

I won't pick on any one novel that prompted this post (cough cough), but I'm looking at you Darling Girls.

I know. I know. People LOVE this book. I don't rag on novels with living authors, because I believe it takes immense skill and talent to write a novel, and just because I didn't like it,  does not detract from it's merit blah, blah, blah.

This book (and so many these days) rely on tropey, attention grabs, that are not very sound. Rather than the story leaning on it's own development, it uses what we know about (child abuse, SA, addiction, etc.) to propel it's story. You as the reader, come INTO the story with tons of information about things, and the author rides the coattails of that info and sends you spiraling towards a sickening end.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh- that's a digital scream. I am just so fed up. I am so busy with academic work, that I want to find something lighter to turn the pages of, but I am just annoyed over and over again.

I will be sticking with cozies for a while and see where that takes me. Alongside my beloved classics of course.

Rant over. Books I've graved recently....




Friday, May 10, 2024

may reading plans (reading for relaxation)

It's been a hellish few months. Busy days, even busier evenings. No time for deep rest. 

Add graduate course work, applications, hospitals, etc. and you can see where this is going.

Reading is meant to be a way tot touch the universal human experience. To feel less alone. 

For the month of May (which for me starts the third week of the month), I am going to be making some adjustments to the growing pile of "currently reading" that continues to grow. 

In another post, I will categorize the literary plate that I am trying to cultivate and I think that framework will allow me to keep my interest varied, and also make things quite manageable. The goal is to let my reading be helpful and transformative, not burdensome and overwhelming- God knows my life is overwhelming enough.



love this stuff


So, what do I want to read for May?


I'm back in a cozy mystery phase. Maybe it's the nightmares I'm having, or the over-saturation of docu-dramas that creep into my mind, but I'm looking for a cozy little feeling, and I can't find it in romance anymore. 

I've been so bored by most all of the romances I've read that I get to around 25-35% and dnf them. 

I'm also moving into a thriller phase. There is something about a thriller that keeps me turning the pages, and ties together in a bow at the end. I'm not historically a thriller reader, so this is kinda fascinating, but I will see where this takes me. 

I don't go book goals, or number challenges, but I do have some personal readathons planned the month. I've been so desperate to have time to use my new reading chairs/lamps, and to slow down that I have a plan to finish some of these great nonfiction books that I"ve been reading for months and months. 

My plan (as usual) read or dnf. Period. There's not enough time to read things that don't fully entertain or educate or move me. 

My new literary plate plans will include 6 books at a time. Is that even that streamlined? It feels that way to me. 

Happy reading. ☕️ 


feeling creeped out so far


um this is book 3? whoops


insightful thus far


always a good time with austen


love his borderline obsessive devotion




Saturday, April 20, 2024

my next Anita Brookner novel for may 2024

I've decided to read Anita Brooker's novels in chronological order. 

She demands a lot of me as a reader, but she pays in kind with deeply moving character portrayals, and I am dedicated to reading all of her novels by no later than the middle of next year.

Up next I will be reading Look At Me



Book Summary: A lonely art historian absorbed in her research seizes the opportunity to share in the joys and pleasures of the lives of a glittering couple, only to find her hopes of companionship and happiness shattered.


Sometimes I just start one of her novels by reading one paragraph just so that I can "always be reading Brookner". It's how I approach Proust as well. 

Opening line:

Once a thing is know it can never be unknown. It can only be forgotten. And, in a way that bends time, so long as it is remembered, it will indicate the future.

 

Friday, April 19, 2024

Incidents in the Rue Laugier by Anita Brookner: A Book Review

 



What can I say? No one writes into the marrow of relationships (familial and partnerships) in under 250 pages quite like Anita Brookner. She is so masterful at drilling into the experience of her characters, that she demands to be read slowly.


source: BBC


In Incidents in the Rue Laugier, Brookner describes so vividly and emotionally the story of what happens when a young, inexperienced woman goes into the world. Maud seeks independence from her stifling mother, while actually having no one to turn to for any guidance. This spells disaster as Tyler can sense her naiveté. As a man who preys on young women's inexperience, he says and does all the right things for Maud to become ensnared with him.

You can guess what all happens next. Interestingly, THIS isn't the part of the story that sent me reeling. It's Tyler's frenemy- Edward whose character depiction strikes me the most.

Edward is outwardly reliable, definitely not a rake, and seemingly compassionate. What Edward tasks himself with later is seen as less chivalrous, and more self-serving. His insistence on propriety at the expense of his own happiness becomes a weighted blanket in his relationship.

We then see an extreme role reversal. He begins to feel trapped. Maud begins to appreciate that continuity that a husband and her own life can bring- especially when juxtaposed with her life back home with her mother. 

This novel explores family, responsibility, connection, honesty, women's dependence, self-esteem, duty, grief, love, and acceptance in a way that only Anita Brookner can do. 

Brookner condenses stories down to their most important factors and allows the reader to enter safely into the deepest recesses of the hearts and minds of her characters. You can't help but see yourself in most of them, and walk about pondering how/what you would do in the situations she presents on the page.

I will continue to read all of her works. Now I will approach them in chronological order so that no stone remains unturned. 

Quotes from the novel:

But recently I have found myself repeating some of my mother's attitudes- reading, sighing, going to bed early- and I began to wish for clarification.

Like my father I found her apparent serenity irritating, yet I have reached the age when a woman begins to perceive that she is growing into the person whom she least plans to resemble: her mother.

Maud simply wanted to live in Paris, with or without a husband, preferably without. While careful not to let her thoughts show on her severe and slightly disdainful golden face, Maud had a secret desire to escape all forms of control. That was her abiding wish.

Loneliness, he felt, was sometimes the price one paid for integrity. 

Tyler had saddled himself with this girl, Maud, for no other reason that that he was used to being accompanied by a submissive female presence.

Please do yourself a favor if you haven't already and read Incidents in the Rue Laugier. 

Thursday, April 18, 2024

getting the proustian itch again- reading the best of literature

Busy days mean I am only reading the best of what literature has to offer. I don't have a lot of time to "test out" new narratives and decide if it works for me. That's why watching bookish content online is so fun- THEY can read it for me, and I can experience the novel that way.

For me, it's been a slow reread of Emma, a deep journey through Romantic Outlaws, several nonfiction books, Nabakov's letters to his wife, Game of Thrones (first time), and a myriad of other things.


coffee + cake= love


Long gone are the days of seeing how many novels I can finish (residue from my time on BookTube), and I've said hello again to the deep, slow, immersive reading style that I've always loved.

Some judge me for always seeking out 5 star reads or 5 star experiences, but this is my reading life. And the key word is life. I don't get the breaths I take back, and I won't get the time I spend on books back either. 

There is nothing wrong with reading ANYthing that your heart desires, but for me I use literature to maintain my sanity through the tough times of my life, for transformation, and for a clue into the universal experiences of humankind. It's a tall order, but there are several novelists who absolutely hit the mark, so why not read and reread them???

My days are long, and my nights are sleepless. I've been getting the itch to begin all 7 volumes of In Search of Lost Time again. GASP. I read it in 2022. It could maybe do with some more air in between readings, but the heart wants what it wants!


always coffee


I'm thinking that if the itch doesn't go away I'll start Swann's Way and allow myself to read one volume every 6 months or so. This way it's a few years worth of reading projects, and I can slowly languish over his memories while creating my own. 


I love this edition. Gorgeous.


Either way, I'm grateful for the reprieve that literature offers me from how hard things can be sometimes. I am also grateful to read that these struggles of the human experience have been documented for hundreds of years. It's why I have always and will always love the novel form. 

poetry pause: monotony:: langston hughes

  stockphoto: coffee, books, pears on a plate Monotony Today like yesterday Tomorrow like today; The drip, drip, drip,   Of monotony Is wear...

About Me

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Classics reader. Deep thinker. Proust Admirer. Re-reading expert. I believe that a small TBR is the way to go.My number one reading truism: If it isn't worth reading twice, it isn't worth reading once.