When I Can't Sleep, I Download Books

I've purchased a few physical editions of books I have given away (Pride and Prejudice, Far From the Madding Crowd, etc.) and when I can't sleep at night (which seems to be every night), I buy books :)

Coffee. My best friend. My soul mate.

inside is a freshly poured over light roast 

2 reading weeks left in the year. I don't rush my reading. I don't make myself finish anything, but I have downloaded some KU novellas to get me through the long, worry filled, anxious nights.

Happy reading.

The Bee Sting by Paul Murray : Book Review

my new hardback copy
consult trigger warnings for this read

Here's the shortest 5 star review: I bought a physical copy of this novel for my shelf!!! I own less than 30 books, so that tells you something.

I'll do my best to put my feelings about this novel into words. This is definitely a time when having a BookTube channel would be beneficial. I spoke my feelings about this novel out loud to my daughter as soon as I was finished reading it- I just HAD to say something immediately.

This intergenerational family saga captures ALL of what is universal to the human experience:

• longing
• love
• secrets
• infatuation
• desperation

The Bee Sting is so wonderfully done from the different POVs of the main characters within this family. Each family members is fully formed, deeply drawn, and their characters are well and truly fleshed out. I could see and feel into the soul's of each of these family members.

I loathe spoilers, so without any details let me say that I found myself crying during several points in this novel.

If anything this novel reads as a cautionary tale of what can happen when parents don't actually pay attention to their children's lives; what happens when women are in marriages without a deep sense of self; and what happens to unprotected children both emotionally and physically. 

Every time I consider that I should stop following book prizes and only read classics, a novel like this crosses my life and changes my mind completely. 

The Bee Sting is 656 pages of seriously well written, well developed characterization and story telling that will make you question so much about how you have experienced the world. 

This happened to me before with Claire Fuller's Unsettled Ground. This novel was shortlisted for the Women's Prize and it won the Costa Novel Award in 2021.

a favorite read of 2021

I feel like I need to sit with this novel for longer and then I will come back and give a more coherent review.

December Classics: Reflective Winter Reads

Let me end the year reading a few holiday cute reads, and deeply reflecting on the human experience via the writings of two of my favorite male authors. Baldwin + Dostoevsky.

This is my favorite time of year to add a dash of nutmeg to my cold brew (I make my own) and enjoy it extra hot with extra creamy vegan milk and settle in at night by the Christmas tree lights with a good book (or 5) on kindle.

After reviewing my classics I wanted to read and reread in 2023, I decided to end the year with these two.

Honestly, Baldwin has some of the most beautiful writing I've ever read (hello Giovanni's Room), and no other makes me feel so deeply connected to the psychological experience of being human like Dostoevsky.

I'll also be enjoying some KU holiday reads (I resubscribed for a few months with a Black Friday deal). I hadn't been using KU at all and always dnfing the books so I deleted it until the deal they offered made it a no brainer to resub whether I use it or not.

it's always a good time
to read baldwin

I am considering having a Baldwin readalong in 2024- I'll keep you posted about it. 

nothing says "reflective" like
reading the philosophy of dostoevsky

This is one of Dostoevsky's shorter works and I will round my classics reading year out with this one.

Will I be rereading this Winter?

Of course I will!!! I am rereading Pride and Prejudice. I didn't think that I would read it again this year, but I really felt inspired to do so, so I began it last week and the comfort I feel when I go back to Longbourn with the Bennets is priceless. 

If you have classics on your TBR for 2023, it's not to late to start them. Who cares about finishing them by January 1st! We don't read for Goodreads goals or numbers, we read to be changed by literature.

Happy coffee brewing and deep reading. 

Hot Coffee and Reading Late At Nite

Busy days, cold days, cloudy days = reading and more coffee.

The more coffee I drink, the harder it is to go to sleep ... obviously... but I can't stop drinking it :)

I've acquired quite a few titles, but I won't detail them here. I'll just talk about what I've been reading.

Bought a Kindle Scribe (will talk about it this week). I actually do love it. I got it on the Black Friday sale and it is fantastic! As a kindle lover, this was the next logical step for me.

always with coffee

In truth, I've been reading The Bee Sting. It is a physically and emotionally uncomfortable read. It's quite a long book and there is A LOT going on in this one.

I attended The Booker Prize live show for the announcement and the winner. Spoiler alert: It's Prophet Song. A novel I own on kindle, but may be avoiding due to the violence depicted in it. I'm exhausted at this time of year, and not in the mood for that.

new scribe

Alas, attending the event was sort of exciting, even though I don't buy into the "book prize" world. Just seeing how much excitement goes into it is a bit contagious. 

As the end of the year approaches I will be posting more so that I can keep up (in the future) with what I was reading and loving during 2023. I'll also be posting about what I want to read in 204 and my favorites from this year.

My blog has very low readership. I keep it as an online diary for myself. I know it can seem crazy, but in truth it's okay to capture things JUST for yourself even if no other person will see or comment on it. (If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one to hear it, does it even make a sound?--- my answer: yes).

I imagine a day about 15 years from now, and I am scrolling back through photos and videos of my reading life from this phase of my development. THAT is what keeps me updating here. 

Time to gear up for my week of posting all of my bookish thoughts for my future self!

A Memoir Speaking Deeply Into My Heart

 

Beyond triggered, but in love so far with this memoir.

I am the mom of a beautiful daughter with disabilities... this memoir is beautiful. 

Emily Brontë Poetry: Am I The Only Being Whose Doom

Am I The Only Being Whose Doom

I am the only being whose doom

No tongue would ask, no eye would mourn;

I never caused a thought of gloom,

A smile of joy, since I was born.

In secret pleasure, secret tears,

This changeful life has slipped away,

As friendless after eighteen years,

As lone as on my natal day.

There have been times I cannot hide,

There have been times when this was drear,

When my sad soul forgot its pride

And longed for one to love me here.

But those were in the early glow

Of feelings since subdued by care;

And they have died so long ago,

I hardly now believe they were.

First melted off the hope of youth,

Then fancy’s rainbow fast withdrew;

And then experience told me truth

In mortal bosoms never grew.

’Twas grief enough to think mankind

All hollow, servile, insincere;

But worse to trust to my own mind

And find the same corruption there.

by Emily Brontë

I Woke Up and Deleted 25 Books From My Kindle

Nothing precipitated this mass digital cleansing.

I read mainly on kindle therefore cleaning it out often is a normal part of my reading life.

I fell trap to the "stuff your kindle day" hyped up BS in one of my "FOMO" type reading weeks.

Well this morning the last cup of coffee was hot, and I was sick of scrolling past tons of silly looking titles that were clogging up my reading interface.

I feel lighter.

I don't do "unhaul" posts and never did so I won't share any of the titles, but let me say that as a result of deleting those titles, I added 4 more to my currently reading folder on my kindle!

It's like I suddenly could see and focus on them and BAM-- I felt so inspired to add them and read a paragraph or two.

There are so many more that I want to permanently delete, and I can see a late night of book deletions in my very near future!!!

Off to scroll through more titles. Happy reading. 

Emily: The Biographical Film about Emily Brontë

absolutely amazing

I am a huge fan of the Brontës and of Emily particularly.

There is something about her reclusive nature, and her insulated existence that is so appealing. Inspiring. Motivating.

This film was deeply moving, and cinematically beautiful. 

During my viewing of the film, I redownloaded my copy of Claire Harman's Charlotte Brontë a Fiery Heart that I purchased and read the DAY it came out in 2016, and The Brontës: A Life in Letters by Juliet Barker.
 

If you are a fan of the Brontës, you must watch this film. Make sure to settle down with a cup of tea and a journal first. 

DNFing Like It's My Full Time Job

I've said it before, I'll say it again... I will DNF any book at any point.

I do not worry myself with those who tell me that DNFing is the coward's way out of reading. There's an entire camp of people ( and bless your hearts ) who feel that you must finish an author's work and that you miss out when you don't complete the entire work. That perhaps the reason you quit the book can be rectified by it's completion.

I hear you. I see you. I disagree with you wholeheartedly.

If a characters is as flat as paper by the end of chapter one, I doubt they'll stand up by chapter 30. Even if so, I am not willing to waste my precious reading time hoping and wishing they will.

I used my highly prized hoopla credits on a slew of audiobooks that I DNFed one after another...

1. Boring 2. Boring 3. Boring.... I was bored, bored, bored and just did not care at all.

I've been having trouble sleeping again, hello insomnia my old nemesis... and I take to scrolling my fully loaded kindle at night. 

I've added Nabokov's Letters to Véra on my already stacked currently reading. 

Geez oh geez I continue to struggle so badly with contemporary literary fiction these days.. I'll keep poking my head up to see if anything changes, but in the meantime you''ll find me hunkered down mainly with my beloved classics. 

Using My Hoopla Credits for Audiobooks

I struggle with listening to audiobooks, but have been trying to use my few monthly hoopla credits on trying out audio.

I can't manage to go above 1.10x speed. Anytime more and I feel like I am pulled immediately out of the story.

Also, nonfiction on audio works far better than fiction for me. Here are a few titles I've decided to try in the coming weeks.