I closed the cover of my kindle after Volume IV ended and said, "Well, damn that was long". Proust knows how to end a volume that's for sure.
Halfway through, I did have a moment of questioning myself. I thought, "I could read so many other enjoyable novels while I'm slogging through this monstrous thing". But, then I thought about it. Long and hard. I realized that reading Proust is almost like radical statement.
In today's world of quick tik tok videos, and Goodreads goals, it can feel like a rebellion to dedicate THIS much time to one novel (albeit it 7 volumes).
I can't deny that Proust makes me examine my life. I'm having a very hard year, and reading ISOLT this year has been a front seat viewing invitation to reflect on my life. My place in things.
Sure, there are so many paragraphs and pages about dinner parties, meeting with old and new friends, so many misunderstandings, and in this novel in particular the gay sex and our narrator's (total pain in the ass this guy) intense jealousy and his constant thinking Albertine is secretly in a sapphic relationship that infuriates me about him.
Nevertheless, I'm 4 volumes in, so I have to finish this damn novel no matter what.
I debated "taking a break" between the volumes, but for some reason, that doesn't seem like the right move for me.
Initially, I didn't have a plan for finishing ISOLT within one year, but as I am entering into my 10th month of reading it, I only have 3 volumes left, a bit of time to complete them at the bedside of my loved one who is battling cancer; my life is all over the place and my anxiety is at an all time high.
Living within Proust's world, can be tightening and slightly claustrophobic, but it is also insulating and can be deeply padded from the outside world. This has created a cocoon that I have lived within.
Although Mme. Verdurin is someone I loathed and oftentimes made me quite upset with her belief that "There are certain desires, sometimes confined to the mouth, which, as soon as we have allowed them to grow, insist upon being gratified, whatever the consequences may be;"... She was all around ridiculous honestly.
As I move onto Volume V The Captive, I'm making sure to take a few days pause, to breathe deeply and then start the next volume alongside the other classics I'm reading.
Happy slow reading.
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